Vote Sapp 2020 for FREE STUFF!

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If I were not already convinced of how great America is, all I would have to do is listen to Democratic contenders compete for the opportunity to get crushed by Donald Trump in the 2020 elections. The Dems want to attract voters by giving away Free Stuff, so I’m getting in line early. In fact, I’m declaring my candidacy now!

Free Stuff = Votes

  • Bernie Sanders, 77, hates guns: “Pass the common sense gun-safety legislation that the overwhelming majority of Americans want.” Bernie wants to cancel student loan debt — Free Money. Young voters love this. I’m going back to school.
  • Elizabeth Warren says she doesn’t hate guns, but “we’re done arguing about gun safety.” Liz wants “reparations” (AKA: Free Money) for members of the LGBTQ community.
  • Creepy Joe Biden just wants to give Free Hugs to women in his diminishing audiences. I could use a hug every now and then, Joe.
  • Kamala Harris owns guns for “self-protection.” But for you and me, she would ignore the Constitution and, by executive order, demand comprehensive background checks and eliminate so-called “assault weapons.” Kamala wants Free Health Care for everyone in America (whether or not they are citizens and have ever or would ever pay taxes).
  • Cory “Spartacus” Booker wants a national gun-licensing system — Free Jobs: More Bureaucrats — and to give “reparations” (more of that Free Money) to every African American.
  • Social justice warrior Petey Buttigieg opposes arming teachers and “stand your ground” self-defense. He wants open borders — Free Everything — for anyone who can get into the U.S. He sees dope as a social justice issue.
  • Kirsten Gillibrand waffles on gun issues but wants all women to have Free Abortions.
  • Admitted thief and drunk Beto O’Rourke wants to ban all “assault rifles.” He wants women to have Free Child Care, 24/7.
  • Bill DeBlasio (real name Warren Wilhelm, Jr.) pressured banks to choke off research and development funds for gun manufacturers. He wants to give a basic income (again, Free Money) to everyone, whether or not they work, calling it a way to eliminate poverty. Duh?

Let’s Talk About Me!

If giving away stuff is all it takes to become president, I’m announcing a Free Stuff Platform.

A paper point-of-purchase retail sign advertising "Buy One, Get One FREE" (BOGO) Bic lighters.

The way to get elected is to give away Free Stuff. I’m announcing my candidacy for president with the SAPP 2A Campaign, wherein I give away Free Guns! (Rick Sapp photo)

I want to give everyone in America a Free Gun and Free Ammo. What could be more quintessentially American? Let’s call it the “Sapp Second Amendment Campaign.” If that’s not enough, I’ll give everyone a Free Concealed Carry Permit. Heck, I’ll also throw in a Free Holster.

It isn’t necessary to figure out how to pay for all the Free Guns I’m giving away. Any small-brain bean-counter can do that. Sapp 2020 is only interested in the big picture. We can’t worry about such trivial issues.

So remember to vote SAPP for plenty of Free Stuff!

About Rick Sapp

Richard “Rick” Sapp was a U.S. Army infantry platoon leader until recruited to the 66th Military Intelligence Group. There, he worked with the West German KRIPO (Criminal Police) at Czechoslovakian border stations during the Soviet invasion of 1968.

Returning to the U.S., he earned a Ph.D. in social anthropology after studies at the U.S. Air Force Academy, Catholic University of America and the University of Florida, following which he moved to Paris, France, for a year.

After four years with the U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service, he turned to journalism and freelance writing, specializing in outdoor features. His journalism experience includes newspapers and magazines. He has authored more than 50 books for a variety of international publishers.

Rick is married and lives in Florida.

 

*The views of our freelance contributing authors do not necessarily represent the official stance of the USCCA.