Time for an Update

What’s it like, death? Biologically it is relatively easy to identify, but defining it is more difficult. It’s like asking, “What is art?”

It might be easier to define technological death. Is the Model T dead? Its construction techniques and engine mechanics were stepping stones to today’s Jeep Renegade. Pictures are available online and, now and then, a refurbished Model T appears in a display of old cars. So is the Model T truly dead?

I’m wondering about death as I stare at my Smith & Wesson Bodyguard .380 — not that this gun might be an instrument of death, but that the essential technology is more than a century old. But I bet if resurrected, John M. Browning, dead 92 years, would be comfortable holding and firing one of today’s semi-automatics. Not much in it would surprise him. After all, his granddaddy semi-automatic, the M1911, was first tested in combat in Mexico in 1916!

Of course, each manufacturer of semi-automatics adds, changes or tweaks something, even if it’s only the color or texture of the grips. But General Pershing’s men from 1916 still could have used my S&W effectively with little or no coaching. They would have understood it; it wouldn’t have been a wonder or a marvel.

Which brings us to Nancy Pelosi.

Nancy plans to take away our semi-automatic handguns (our semi-auto shotguns and rifles too … and perhaps any paintball markers and airsoft toys that fire in a semi-automatic mode). Various U.S. courts have already allowed local governance and control of firearms and other shooting tools belonging to private citizens.

I’m deeply concerned that Nancy and other anti-gunners are going to be able to do this in the near future. It’s certainly a doggone good reason to get political.

William Shatner as Captain Kirk with a Type 3 2260s Phaser and guest star Sally Kellerman as Elizabeth Dehner from Star Trek: The Original Series

William Shatner as Captain Kirk with a Type 3 2260s Phaser and guest star Sally Kellerman as Elizabeth Dehner from Star Trek: The Original Series. Sure, it’s fiction, but it’s also high time for America’s brilliant firearms designers to go the next step beyond semi-automatics because Nancy Pelosi and other anti-gunners are on a quest to seize them.

Is it too late though? I’m afraid that, before I’m dead, local law enforcement officers will bang on my door and demand that I hand over my semi-automatic firearms. And a couple of years later, they’ll bang on the door for my revolvers and air rifle. If it comes to that, Nancy will have won, and America won’t be the same.

It’s time for all of the bright people in manufacturing to take our semi-automatics to the next level. A few bright people experimented with and built 3D-printed guns. That hasn’t worked out so well, although I appreciate the concept as well as the technological brilliance. Sure, the federal government has researched less-than-lethal weaponry, but I don’t have a problem with lethality. I don’t have a problem with death itself, even if I can’t artistically define it.

I have a problem with someone telling me what to do: telling me when to go to bed; telling me that I have to build my garage to meet certain codes; or telling me that I can’t own something or must pay endless fees, taxes and surcharges.

It’s time to move on from today’s conventional firearms. I want a Phaser, a Laser, a Pulse cannon, a Plasma cannon, a Phase cannon, a Disruptor, a Phased Polaron Cannon, a Tetryon cannon. Something that will fry an attacker’s, a home invader’s, a kidnapper’s brain or stop his or her heart, just not in a semi-automatic model. Come on. Come up with something. Something that will last a hundred years. It’s time.