Best Robbery Bets

Are you tired of robbing 7-Elevens because you don’t get enough for your next hit of juice? Are you angry about facing convenience store managers who might be packing heat and willing to use it? Isn’t it easier to mug a sheep than a wolf? Well then, here are a couple of fresh ideas.

Before going to your local Outback Steakhouse for a bloomin’ onion, consider that they have a strict no-gun policy. This Australian imitator is serving up a sample of gun-free zone right here in the U.S. A couple months ago, Tennessee Wildlife Resource Agency Officer Andrew Ward and his wife went to the local Outback Steakhouse for dinner. Ward was in uniform and was carrying his authorized firearm as required. In a Facebook post, he wrote:

I was approached by the manager and asked if I would put my gun in my truck. I let her know that I couldn’t because I was in uniform. She then went and made a call and came back and we were asked to leave because Outback is a gun-free zone.

Ward later updated his initial post, noting that he was asked to leave after another customer complained that she was “scared for her life … because police are shooting people.” Ward said that “the customer went on to demand to be escorted to her vehicle out of fear of being shot.”

We do note that Outback’s parent company Bloomin’ Brands later offered the Ward family a $100 gift card and an apology. They then tossed the individual manager under the bus, saying it isn’t company policy to harass law enforcement. You and I, on the other hand, are fair game.

Here’s another possibility. Oakland, California’s Hasta Muerte Coffee announced that it will not serve officers in uniform. “We have a policy of asking police to leave for the physical and emotional safety of our customers and ourselves,” the owners posted online, ignoring the fact that police carry firearms, TASERs and pepper spray for citizens’ protection. Hasta Muerte justified its stance by blaming Oakland PD for racism, sexism, homophobia and other such things. It noted that Oakland PD has a “history of corruption, mismanagement and scandal,” including blatant repression of the poor, women, people of color, and queer individuals. It also said that the department “routinely criminalizes and terrorizes black and brown and poor folks, especially youth, trans and homeless folks. For these reasons and so many more, we need the support of the actual community to keep this place safe, not police.” Instead of revoking the business license, the Oakland City Council said it wanted to “open a dialogue” with the café.

And carrying legally in California is more dangerous than being a criminal. Just ask Kate Steinle’s illegal alien murderer. The chance that these leftist, Marxist owners and managers are carrying is thin, too, so their businesses are perfect targets.

Check out reports online of various restaurants, managers or servers who ride to work on unicorns with rainbows perpetually hovering above their halos. Predominantly, they are the younger generations, those who advocate for open borders and “no matter who you are or where you are from, we’re happy you’re our neighbor.” They absolutely abhor violence, though they revel in it on television and at the movies.

So if you’re thinking of robbing a convenience store, where it could be dangerous and the reward minimal, consider a popular gun-free zone restaurant. Chances are that it’ll be a socialist enterprise that refuses to serve law enforcement officers, blames guns for the actions of humans, limits free speech, sneers at Christianity, spits on the American legacy, prefers Cinco de Mayo or Bastille Day to the Fourth of July, and believes that a citizen’s right to self-defense is barbaric.

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